


When the Fool Learns

by Randie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Plug, Angst, Bodyswap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24219388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randie/pseuds/Randie
Summary: Jack learns that sometimes keeping your mouth shut may help everyone. Especially the ones he cares about the most.
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	When the Fool Learns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [malcolm-reeds-pineapple](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=malcolm-reeds-pineapple).



When they finally made it to the gate, they were pretty sure that no one was still chasing them. Or, at the very least, they had outrun them. Taking a moment to breathe, everyone took a moment to give slightly scathing looks to their leader, who had at the worse moment had taken time to make a crack about their new ‘friends’ leaders state of dress. She was also their priestess to the Gou’ald Nitirri , naked, and with a large protruding unnatural appendage jutting from her groin, just there.

They really couldn’t blame him because they were all thinking it. After all the penis paraphernalia throughout the small town, they knew something was severely different about these folks, but Jack had picked the wrong time to say something. The leader, Simiron, had been completing a holy prayer to the goddess and as Jack made his joke, she reached over, grabbed his wrist and stared into his eyes, murmuring something quietly under her breath. Just as quickly, she released him and said in English, “Run, go back to your homes, never to return or my dogs will feast on you tonight.”

Her glare said she was not kidding. They ran.

As the portal opened, they heard barking in the distance and Sam watched as the colonel moved just a little bit quicker up and through the gate.

****

Jack sat in the debriefing staring at his notepad, listening here and there to everyone tell Hammond about the Kivics. He had a headache and it had just started to get to the annoying stage. He looked up and listened as Sam talked about the technology that the seemingly rudimentary people had in their town, explaining that it must have been with Nirrti’s influence that they had these things available. He grabbed his pen and started drawing a small sketch of the door handle of the place where they had stayed there and picked up the pad, staring at it. Daniel reached out, grabbed his hand and turned it over, giving Jack a look. Penis drawings in the briefing room did not bode well. Jack looked at Hammond wishing they could be excused for the infirmary so he could get some aspirin and go home.

“Anything you wanted to add, Colonel?” His wishes had been answered!

“No sir. I’m just ready to check out of here and get to downtime.” Jack smiled.

“Alright, SG-1, you have the next three days down, and we’ll have you back on Tuesday.” Hammond grabbed his folder and tapped the papers down in it. Everyone thanked him and headed down to the infirmary.

As they sat, the nurses took their usual measurements and Dr. Fraiser came by, checking her normal routine. They all looked tired, but they hadn’t slept much in the 3 days that they were offworld. Teal’c made it out first, checking out perfect as always. Carter, right behind him, eager to get back to the soil samples she hadn’t had a chance to start processing, before she was kicked out of the mountain. Daniel was getting his usual shots he was due for his allergies and then he was saying his goodbyes. Jack sat up on his bed, waiting for Frasier to be ready to give him the old heave ho.

She smiled at him, “Colonel, how are you feeling? I notice you barely spoke while everyone was getting checked out.”

As she checked his lymph nodes, he gave his best smile, “I’m ready to go home, catch the game, and get to sleep. Been a long few days.” She nodded. He looked her in the eyes. “Am I good?” 

“I don’t see why not. Make sure you get that rest. You look drained.” She put her stethoscope back around her neck. He nodded and hopped off the table, headed for the locker room.

After a quick shower and throwing his clothes on, he was ready to leave. He yawned on his way to the surface, on the way to the truck, and again on the way out of the gate. He grabbed his cell phone and called to order some Chinese for when he got home so it would be there.

He pulled up to the house and went inside, taking off his jacket and kicking off his shoes. He grabbed a glass and went to the sink to get some water. He was so tired; he barely noticed the water pouring over his hands as the glass overfilled. He shook his head and reached over for a towel, drying his hands. Reaching up, he grabbed the aspirin from the nearby cupboard and swallowed them, draining the whole glass dry.

Grabbing his wallet he threw a twenty on the table for the food and went to change. He stripped, throwing all the clothes in the hamper and pulled on his loose white cotton pants, tying the drawstring. There was a knock on the door and he met the delivery guy, giving him the twenty and telling him to keep the change. 

He took his boxes in the bag and a couple of beers to the living room while he turned on the TV. No games were on, so he settled on his taped episode of the Simpsons he had missed this week. Not being very hungry, Jack ate what he wanted and threw the rest in the fridge, grabbing one more beer before calling it a night. He didn’t finish it once the episode was over; he just turned everything off, and went to bed. He didn’t remember actually closing his eyes as he fell asleep.

****

Smooth hands were sliding up his back and grasping his shoulders. A tongue slipped behind them, branding their path. He was so hot, sweat was dripping off him. He felt something in his ass, unsure of what it was, but it was kinky, even for his most out there kind of dreams. Kisses pelted the back of his shoulders and neck as he felt the hands move to stroke his chest, stopping at his nipples to tweak them, before sliding down to take him in hand. He moaned, opened his eyes and his breath hitched. He was wearing glasses. _He was wearing glasses and someone was touching him._

He pinched his arm carefully and stilled, instantly feeling himself deflate, and the person behind him stopping their assault on his body. He put his hands over his face and took a deep breath, as he was pretty sure the person behind him had a hairy chest and pretty small tits. Also, she was a big damn woman. Or she wasn’t a woman at all. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t flying off the handle, so he had to make a thorough threat assessment here.

“Daniel?” A very male voice came from behind him. _Daniel? What the hell?_

He looked up at the room and saw that indeed he was in Daniel’s bedroom. Slowly, he pulled away from the person in question and slid off the bed, walking up to the mirror in Daniel’s room. He stopped before he even made it and did everything possible not to scream. He was wearing Daniel’s face, his body, his everything! He turned around to see the man on the bed, as he had assumed that this was a man, why not, everything else in his world was in Oz right now! 

A man, possibly around Jack’s age, with graying hair, good body not unlike his own, and a mortified expression was staring back at him. “I’m sorry…. I… just started not to feel well….” He stammered, trying to figure out a way not to damage Daniel’s relationship or whatever he had with this man. _Man?_ “I’ll be in the restroom.” He walked calmly to the bathroom and turned on the light, staring at Daniel. Not anything he hadn’t seen before, but it was more than he had ever paid attention to. He had a great chest, which he knew, but his lower half was amazing. Leg muscles that were cut from granite, an ass like Adonis—what the hell was he doing? This was Daniel, his best friend! He thought for a moment.

_What if he’s in MY body?_

Jack flushed the toilet, turned off the light and headed out of the room. He grabbed what clothes he could see that he knew were Daniel’s and started dressing. The man sat back on his knees, still, with his dick laying there, still, mouth open, trying to process, Jack supposed. “I have to go to the pharmacy. I am so sorry….” He stopped dressing and walked over and kissed the man lightly on the mouth for his buddy, only for his buddy. “Can I call you?”

The man nodded, “I knew you shouldn’t have eaten those oysters, Daniel. I should’ve said something.”

“No,” Jack said, taking his hands, “it’s alright, it wasn’t your fault. But I do need to go right now.”

The man nodded tenderly and reached for Jack, pulling him in for a light hug. “Be careful. I ‘ll lock up”

Jack smiled and headed out the room, shaking his head, thinking _that was the weirdest shit I have ever been through._ He grabbed Daniel’s keys, saw that it was 23:30 and ran down the stairs. He hit the car and took off like it was the Indy 500.

As he drove he thought, _no, this whole situation is the weirdest shit I have ever been through._ He shivered. There was still something in his ass…

****

There were no lights on when he got to the house. He slid out of the car, quietly losing the door, looking around for anyone who may be watching, praying to anyone that this would not turn into an incident. Jack unlocked the door and slid off Daniel’s shoes and jacket. He walked carefully to his room and opened the door, wincing as he remembered it squeaked, just a little. Daniel turned in his sleep to face the door and Jack reached over to grab the chair close to the bed. He stared at his own face, lax in sleep. He didn’t want to wake him, but he knew he needed to. He was going to flip the hell out, not to mention the indiscretion that Jack was now in on that he’d never bothered sharing with him.

Lightly shaking his shoulder, he spoke gently, “Daniel?”

No answer.

He’d hoped it was Daniel in there; otherwise this problem was going to be a whopping _oh shit_ of epic proportions. He tried again. “Daniel.” No answer.

He sighed. Jack’s body was exhausted. He wasn’t waking up. He grabbed him and shook hard. “Daniel!”

The archeologist reached up and grabbed Jack by the arm. “If you shake me again before dawn, I may kill you Jack.” He stopped. His arm dropped and he sat straight up. “What the fuck?”

Jack sat back down and watched him freak out for a moment before speaking. Daniel had been up, peed without looking (his poor bathroom), and stared at himself in the mirror. He came out and looked at Jack, pointing at him. “This is your fault.” He put his face in his hands. “Oh shit, John!” He looked at the floor.

Jack sat up in the chair. _Oh, his name is John, hmm…._ “He’s fine. He thinks that the oysters are not agreeing with you. He got a kiss and a hug from me, which, you’re welcome for.” He gave a weak smile to his friend. “Those pants really do look good on me.”

Daniel looked up and stared up at his soon-to-be-former-best-friend. The sleep had worn away and anger was definitely rising up. He didn’t say anything, he just stared at him, presumably wondering if he should beat him up or walk out, go to the mountain, get this fixed, and then kick his ass.

Quietly, Jack decided to start, “Why didn’t you tell me, you know, that you…”

Bitter laughter came out of his own mouth. “Jack, it was none of your business, who I sleep with is my business. In fact in four years, you haven’t even guessed, so I must have been doing something right. And, before you ask, yes its men and women. No, I did not do it while I was married and John was the first person to show attention that I have something in common with, so I decided it would be alright to have a relationship with him.”

Jack sat there and listened to his friend, wishing he had felt he could have said something sooner. He’d realized that they hadn’t been hanging out together lately on their downtime and it had been bothering him more than he knew. Where Jack was, Daniel followed and vice versa. He opened his mouth to ask another question, but thought better of it.

Daniel sighed again. “What?”

Jack smiled and said, “Thank you for telling me. I know that took a lot. It was awkward to wake up, in the middle of foreplay…. Umm…. John is very thorough with his tongue.” Daniel rolled his eyes as Jack continued, “That being said I know what it means to be lonely and I’m glad you found someone.”

Daniel reached over and grabbed Jack’s knee, squeezing it firmly, “I know you do.” He smiled sadly at Jack. “Let’s get ready to go to the mountain.”

Jack stood and went to the mirror modeling the physique of his friend. “You’re a beast, Daniel, did you know that?” Daniel muttered a fuck off, and Jack continued casually, “Can I ask you something? What in the fuck is up my ass?”

The embarrassment that Daniel was going through at that very moment could not have been more astounding than anything else prior, ever. “Um, Jack, let me help you with that.” He walked over quickly, undoing his own pants and pulling them down. Sweat immediately poured onto his brow. He was never living this down. Jack grabbed his hand.

“I’m not feeling too comfortable here. What the fuck is it?” He tried to twist around to look. Daniel stilled him and stared at the floor.

“It’s nothing to worry about. Now, just hold onto your dressed here for a minute and I’ll take care of it.” Jack grabbed his hand.

“You don’t understand, Daniel, whatever it is has caused your body to have uhh, you know most of the way and time here.” He looked at him intently. “What. Is. It.”

Daniel murmured something beneath his breath and wrenched his hand free from Jack. He pulled the pants down further and reached down like a trooper, going straight for the a--. “Daniel. Is this a butt plug?” He ground out, still trying the hardest to keep it light. Daniel nodded slightly. “What the hell is going to happen when you take this out?” Daniel shrugged; Jack sighed and closed his eyes, begging for patience. “Will it hurt?” Daniel shook his head. Jack grabbed the dresser, resigned to his fate. This was fuckin ridiculous.

Very carefully, Daniel had him spread his legs and gently pulled out the large plug. Just before it made its exit, Jack came. Daniel grabbed him by the stomach and held him tight, stroking his hair, and murmuring reassurances in his ear. As the shock wore off, Jack pulled toward the dresser and leaned into it, taking deep breaths and throwing a ‘motherfucker’ in every few seconds.

Daniel disappeared to the guest bathroom to clean himself and the toy.

Jack went to his bathroom and stared at the freshly orgasmed Daniel. He was in fucking trouble, Danny looked _very_ good.

****

Everyone was convened in the briefing room. Daniel was in Jack’s chair and Jack was in Daniel’s. Sam thought it was cute, and before the General had come in, she had told them all that at least 7 times. Daniel was on his 5th cup of coffee and he was barely holding on staying awake. Dr. Frasier was theorizing with Sam about what she thought had caused this from the last planet they had visited. They all had eaten the same food, drank the same, and were around the same flora and fauna. No one else had shown any signs of having anything like this happening to them.

Teal’c looked at everyone at the table and said loudly, “It was the priestess. I am certain she did a spell of some kind.”

Jack snapped his fingers and tapped his nose, pointing at Teal’c. “Give that man a kewpie doll! He’s right, sir. That very nice person who wanted to feed us to her dogs did this.” Hammond listened as Jack revisited the part of the brief when he had opened up his mouth and should have inserted his entire foot.

“Well,” the general said, “let us get together and see what we can do to undo it before we have to contact that very unpleasant priestess.”

They all hopped to their feet and went to work, except Daniel. He followed the general. “Sir, I wanted to request some sleep time in the VIP quarters. Jack’s body is wiped. I want to help, but he was running on empty—worse than I usually get.”

Hammond nodded, “Get all the rest you need, son. We’ll need you to see this through.”

Daniel nodded and headed off to the quarters, yawning and hiding from this morning.

++++

Jack looked down at himself sleeping in the VIP room. He looked good. Many years away from when he was awake, he supposed. Daniel had been snoring. He didn’t think he snored that bad, but apparently either he did or Daniel’s consciousness took over everything in his body.

The colonel had tried everything to kill his boredom while he waited for everyone smarter than him to come back with some form of answer. He went to the gym, he went to the control room to help with incoming teams but that was confusing, and then he went to the commissary to eat, but his ass was sore, so he took his pie to go. He finally ended up here, laying across the bed, looking at himself.

Daniel was his kryptonite. Everyone knew it. They knew not to mess with his archeologist of there would be hell to pay. There was a list of how to take care of Daniel, from yours truly, that went to every team leader that borrowed him. It wasn’t protection per se, but he needed to make sure he would come back to him in one piece. Someone needed to.

Last night was some trippy shit. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut. That priestess looked like some crazy bitch off a scary movie he would not want anything to do with. A few positives came out of it though; he found out Daniel was bi, so he would relate to him better, in a different way maybe, he had his junk held by a guy named John, and felt what it was like to come from have a butt plug removed. Jesus.

When he opened his eyes, he was looking back at himself. “This is creepy.” Daniel yawned and nodded, stretching out. He leaned back to lay to stare at the ceiling and Daniel continued to look at him. He gave him a side eye glance.

“I’m sorry, Jack.” Daniel looked at the bed, moving his band back and forth on the sheet.

“Don’t worry about it. Not my body, it was all you.” Jack calmly answered, not looking at him. “So, do you do that often?”

Daniel closed his eyes again and wished he could pass out, something, just not answer this question. “Why?”

“Just curious,” a small sharp breath from Jack.

“Sometimes.”

“Why?”

“Jack--,” he cut off, “if you want to know so bad, we are going to have to drink a lot more than we are.”

That got a chuckle from Jack and he turned to face his friend, causing butterflies in Daniel’s stomach. He wanted to take Jack’s hand and tell him everything. How he felt. Why he was seeing a man that reminded him of his colonel. He wanted the smile and laugh Jack gave freely to be just for him in the dark of their bedroom where they could love each other and no one or everyone could know. But he could never tell him. 

Jack reached out and took his hand, “Danny, tell me. I will understand. Trust me.”

He closed his eyes, knowing everything that he could tell Jack could backfire in his face, he was good for that, when he wanted to be. He felt the callouses from his fingers rubbing his own, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and _oh God_ , he was wishing he had a toy _right now, it was Jack for real this time_. “I wear them for many reasons.” He closed his eyes, but never let go of Jack’s hand.

Something was making Jack ask these questions, he’d ever wanted to know them before, but he knew that right not, right here, it was good, it was right. “Give me one.” His breathe was soft over his friend’s face and he felt his belly flip flop.

“To stretch the muscle.” Daniel was just as soft. “To make it easier…when it’s time…to uhh….” He turned his whole body toward the bed, his face in his pillow. Jack rubbed his hands faster and knew his breathing was coming quicker. He had never seen Daniel turned on before. Just before he asked again, Daniel croaked out, “To hold the _come in_ between loads… I _like it_ … _Oh God_ ….” He grabbed his hand back and rolled away facing the other direction.

Jack did not dare move. He was breathing so hard, but tried to quiet it since the sounds that Daniel was making were definitely something he wanted to hear. He reached out tentatively to his shoulder, but Daniel pulled away. “Please go.” His reply was small and shrunk into himself, the way he was laying now. The way he used to hug himself. Jack got up and left, pausing at the door to stare at his friend quietly sobbing to himself.

++++

Once they had found that no one had any answers this side of the gate, they determined that they needed to head back to the planet to speak with the priestess. Hammond gave them a go with SG-2 and 5. It was midday when they gated there. By the time they reached the village, it was early evening and with Major Carter and Ferretti leading talks with Simiron, and it looked to be more promising a visit than it was previously. Simiron did request for Daniel and Colonel O’Neill to come before her however, before giving her answer if she would correct their issue.

Neither stood proudly before her like before, only providing yes or no answers to her questions. When it came to the question everyone was waiting for, “How does it feel to give up your pride for others?”, intended for Jack, he responded the only way he knew how. “It felt horrible ma’am, and I have learned far more than you can possibly imagine.” He stole a quick glance to Daniel, which ripped out his heart, who only looked back to his feet.

She took this under consideration. “You will suffer this no longer than this day. However, if you ever need reminding Jonathan O’Neill, I will know and this will reoccur.” He swallowed visibly.

He left the tent with his team and headed back to the gate. It was time for real down time this time.

++++

They had a week of down time.

After the infirmary, at some time, Jack closed his eyes in the ready room and when he opened them, he was himself once again. A few moments later Daniel came out of the shower and he was himself as well. Nothing was said, neither seemed to want to talk. Jack had that feeling coil warm in his belly again and smiled at Daniel and Daniel smiled back. Then he walked out with his bag, quickly.

Jack stared at the door. He was in love with his best friend.

Oh fuck.

_Oh fuck._

_The end?_


End file.
